


Colourless

by ragnelleloathly



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, First Time, M/M, artist Arthur
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-16
Updated: 2013-11-16
Packaged: 2018-01-01 18:03:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1046918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ragnelleloathly/pseuds/ragnelleloathly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arthur preferred spending his evenings either holed up in his room drawing for hours or with Gwaine and Leon in the pub. It was an easy and comfortable routine. One he even liked to practice on his birthdays. </p><p>But apparently, Morgana was dissatisfied with his lifestyle. And after an embarrassing but maybe not so bad mishap, he got persuaded to let Morgana have her way with throwing him a lavish birthday party. And then there was Merlin who wasn’t a guest at all but actually his stripper. </p><p>So maybe birthday parties weren’t so bad after all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Colourless

**Author's Note:**

  * For [teprometo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/teprometo/gifts).



> Thanks to Sasha for being my lovely beta and cheering me on (and has to put up with me). And also to Lisa, who was excited for my fic despite never having read anything from me and actually sped my writing process along, so I didn't have to lie to her when asked about my writing process.
> 
>    
>  _ **Disclaimer ******_: Merlin characters are the property of Shine and BBC. No profit is being made nor is any copyright infringement intended.

People tend to assume so many things when they didn’t know you. The greater the mystery surrounding you, the more likely it was that they believed the gossip. Apparently one of Arthur’s best mates Gwaine was a piss poor drunkard and Leon, his childhood friend was chivalry incarnated, a knight reborn in the modern era.  And while it was true that Gwaine liked his ale just fine and had a frightening ability to hold his liquor, he could wipe his arse with money and still had enough to last him his lifetime. And Leon? Arthur always thought that he could nod in agreement about every good thing said about Leon but this evening (unbeknownst to him) he would be proven wrong.  And then there was him, Arthur Pendragon, son of the most influential businessman in the country with no mother but with a bastard sister, Morgana Le Fay. They said that as promiscuous as he was, Arthur had hook ups left and right, likely craving another one’s touch with no mother in his childhood and an emotionally constipated father back home who had problems properly expressing his love.

And while the latter might be true, the promiscuous part was ridiculous. Gwaine even made it his mission to hook him up with guys, his sister not far behind. To his horror, they took their job seriously.

“Hey look, Arthur. This bloke seems to fancy you,” Gwaine said with a curt nod towards the bar where a good-looking man with strawberry coloured locks stood, waiting for his pint. Like he had to tell him. Arthur had already noticed the looks bestowed upon him since they sat down in the pub. But he really didn’t feel inclined to chat some bloke up he didn’t even feel any attraction to.

“Not my type,” Arthur replied and took a sip from his pint, ignoring the amused looks his friends gave him.

Leon snorted. “Sure, mate.”

“What?”

“Leon is of the opinion that it’s not a type question,” Gwaine leaned back, patting him on the shoulder, “which, granted, that guy really isn’t your type but this has more to do with your libido being inactive for the last three fucking months. Seriously, even ginger here has more sex than you.”

Why did everyone feel entitled to meddle with his love life?

Arthur pressed his lips into a thin line, his heart beating two beats too fast. “Oh yeah? How would Leon know that? I don’t remember hiring him as my secretary to schedule my shags.”

“Well, no, but Morg— …I mean, you know, we’ve never actually seen you—“ But Arthur cut him off, drowning everything out after Leon’s slip of tongue.

“ _Morgana_?” he hissed, enraged, simultaneously as Gwaine guffawed, “ _Seen_? Oh god, never pegged you for someone who’s into kinky stuff!”

Arthur sharply elbowed Gwaine in his ribs, making the latter laugh even more. He rubbed his temples tiredly, sighing. Morgana already knew far more about him than he would like. Since they were toddlers, she was the only one who could read his mind and saw his fears like an open diary spilling over with his most embarrassing secrets.  And shit, if he wasn’t scared as fuck of the possibility that she’d share his secrets with others. Of course, she’d share it with Leon, his childhood friend who had the constant need to report everything and nothing about him to his sister like the loyal puppy he was. Ha fucking ha, these two really found each other, and didn’t they make a nice—

Wait.

“You’re shagging my sister!”

 _Traitortraitortraitor_.

“You got that woman to commit?” Gwaine whistled, impressed. He slammed his palm repeatedly down onto the table in exclamation of his excitement which in turn caused Arthur’s pint to spill. Annoyed, Arthur took his handkerchief out of his back pocket and dabbed at his wet sleeve. Gwaine raised his eyebrow but Arthur shrugged, used to people giving him odd looks for his old-fashioned ways. He was no longer self-conscious of his habits, not after Morgana showed every one of his friends the family picture album at his sixteenth birthday. In her drunken state, though he still suspected her to be sober enough to recall the details, she had shown them the family portrait when he was eight years old. The one where he peed in his pants before the shoot and foregoed the pants his nanny gave him to change into, because he insisted on wearing his mother’s old, frilly white dress he found the day before. He got his way. It was slightly embarrassing how the girls at the party felt the need to coo over his picture, but he never felt self-conscious over anything again after that dreadful incident. Unfortunately, Morgana made it a tradition to always bring the picture forth on his birthday, company or not. But he never told anyone the real story behind it.

He shuddered and forced himself to snap back to the conversation.

“We’re actually not dating.”

“Oh, you naughty, naughty boy. Friends with benefits, eh?” Gwaine leered, rubbing his three day old stubble absentmindedly.

Leon blushed.

Arthur groaned, never having wished to be deaf until this moment. “You’re talking about my  _sister_! Just…no, don’t. This feels so wrong.”

Gwaine gave him a little shove, before tucking Arthur’ head under his armpit. Okay, this was just plain disgusting, that man was sweating like a pig. “ _Gwaine,_ ” he said in warning.

“But your sister is so hot.” He rubbed his knuckles into Arthur’s head while Leon nodded fervently.

“Still my sister, still wrong,” he mumbled between clenched teeth, wrinkling his nose in disgust when his cheek came in contact with Gwaine’s sweat. “How would you feel if I told you I wanted to get it on with  _your_  sister?” At last, Gwaine released him from his hold, leaving Arthur to catch his breath.

“For one, you’re gay, mate,” Gwaine said as he patted Arthur’s back who was still coughing from being in his headlock, “second, she’s a toad; not even a blind man would touch her.”

Arthur leaned a bit further away from Gwaine, to a safer distance. “Alright, fine. But could we change to a topic that doesn’t involve Morgana and shagging or anything sex-related for that matter, in one sentence?”

Leon looked a bit relieved for that, to which Arthur sneered. The damn traitor finally felt guilty.

He didn’t notice the exchange between Leon and Gwaine who gave each other a nod before Leon cleared his throat to catch their attention. “Make sure you’re free next week.”

Arthur shrugged. “Sure, is there anything special on?”

Gwaine looked at him oddly. “You’ve forgotten what day it is, Arthur?”

Suddenly, Gwaine gave a little jump and yelped loudly. “Fuck! Stop kicking me,” he said, looking at Leon accusingly while he rubbed at his tender shin. 

Arthur sighed at his friends, already used to the abuse Leon bestowed upon Gwaine for the last few weeks for whatever reason. He let his eyes drift over the other pub guests, checking the leaner, more angular men out. He felt an itch in his fingers, yearning to catch the lines with sharp and clean pencil strokes. He wanted to capture the hollows of cheekbones, the straight line of their noses and the hair curling at their necks; keeping them for him and creating an impossible beauty from all the striking features he favoured.

*****

How strange. Arthur could have sworn that he turned all the lights off before leaving for the pub and yet, he was standing in the entrance of a well-lit flat. Oh, but he’d given Morgana a key to his flat, hadn’t he?

“Morgana, is that you?”

She was nowhere in sight as he entered his spacious living room, only a square white box lying innocently on his coffee table indicated that someone had been there. Well, Morgana always conveniently forgot the very definition of privacy whenever it suited her, or more like, whenever and wherever Arthur was concerned, but she always had the decency to at least announce her arrival with a call. And now, he was standing in front of a suspicious box with his sister or possibly a burglar hiding somewhere. Great, just great. He had just shrugged out of his coat when he heard a noise from his bedroom; he could hear someone opening and shutting a drawer hastily, the scraping of heels against the ground. Arthur was just about to march into his bedroom when the box caught his eye once again. To be more specific, it was the tiny white card lying on the box that made him stop, and he grinned at the short message written in Morgana’s elegant handwriting. Not a burglar then.

_For you, my favourite person (for now) on this rotten planet_

_—M._

Yep, that was definitely Morgana. He lifted the box to his nose, sniffing it. Even through the box, he could smell the faintest trace of vanilla under the mouthwatering sweetness of chocolate.

Oh hello, Morgana brought him a cake! Most of Arthur’s friends hated the very sight of anything sweet after spending a good portion of their evening and night in the pub, but for Arthur it was like Christmas had come early. Arthur sometimes wished that people didn’t associate his country with tea but with cake because then, no one would look at his addiction with disgust. And didn’t sugar make people happy? Cake was the best thing in the world after getting pissed. Alright, maybe he was a bit drunk for making declarations of love for cakes but he still made a mental note to marry a person who would make him cakes he could want as he lifted the lid. He was greeted with the wafting smell of rich chocolate, but he lost his appetite when he read what was on the cake.

_How about dessert in bed?_

Arthur not so carefully slammed the lid shut and hastily set the cake box onto the coffee table, his appetite completely gone. He was pretty sure that Morgana wasn’t talking about the edible kind of dessert. And thanks to her and by proxy Leon, he’ll never be able to eat cake without getting all these disturbing pictures of his sister and his best mate in his head. He rubbed his arms where goosebumps have already formed from that skin crawling thought of them together doing things that better stay censored in his mind or better even, stay out altogether. There was a clattering noise coming from his bedroom and Arthur remembered with sudden annoyance that he was already mad at Morgana for going through his stuff before the cake experience just then.

“Morgana, what the hell do you think you’re—” Arthur snapped as he entered his bedroom, but stopped abruptly when he realized with gripping fear exactly  _what_  she was going through. And even though Arthur shouted loud enough for her to hear him, Morgana didn’t move an inch from where she stood, body hunching over his desk where a baby blue coloured box lay. An unlocked box to be exact. She made to grasp for the content and Arthur, triggered into motion; seized her arm and pulled her roughly backwards. “What do you think you’re doing?!”

Morgana appeared to be surprised, though not because of his sudden arrival since she was still staring at the few papers she managed to snatch from his box.

“I never knew.” Morgana said, awed.

Surprised, Arthur let her go. “What do you mean?”

“This!” She pushed the papers in his face. His face became a mirror of hers when he held her wrist far enough from him to see what she meant. When he did look, Ygraine Pendragon stared right back at him, eyes wrinkling from smiling. And while Arthur had to look away from being suddenly confronted with his mother’s face, Ygraine’s ever so lovely eyes stayed on him. He withdrew his hand from Morgana’s wrist.

“Pray tell,” he took his sketches out of her hand and put them safely back in the box, “What exactly is wrong with a son drawing his mother?”

“Obviously, nothing is wrong with that.” She said, regaining her composure. Morgana gently pushed him to the side and took a few sketches out. “Is this why you never go out with us to celebrate your birthday?” She turned the drawings over, every single one of them was a portrait of his mother. Morgana stepped forward and involuntarily kicked against few pencils, propelling them forward until they gave a soft thud as they hit Arthur’s toe cap. So that was the noise from before. 

“This one dates one year back on your birthday.” Morgana held another drawing out, paper already yellowed from age and Ygraine’s hair was smudged from not being properly fixed. “And this one is from your eighteenth birthday!” 

“Her death anniversary,” Arthur corrected.

Morgana threw her arms in the air and remarked just as off-handedly. “Your birthday, her death anniversary. Same difference.” Her hands stopped midway, halted in motion when she realized what she just said. “Arthur. I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to—“

“It’s fine. Just leave it.”

“No, it’s not. Arthur—” She wanted to put a hand on his shoulder to comfort him but hesitated. She was aware that what she’d just done was similar to stepping on a cat’s tail and expecting it to let her pet it. But cats held grudges for days, hissed and clawed at you for daring to come near them. But Arthur, sweet and vulnerable Arthur, had the heart of a puppy, loyal and too big for his own good.

“Morgana, please,” Arthur cleared his throat, still not looking at her, “How the hell did you even open it? I had it locked.”

Grateful for the change of topic, Morgana relaxed a little, lips curving into an easy smile. “Come on, I didn’t spend the better days of my childhood going through your stuff for nothing; ‘course I know where you like to hide your stuff, little brother.” 

_Know your enemy._

That was the only thing Morgana had taken from their father’s attempts to teach them life lessons back when he wasn’t too busy to attend their weekly dinner at their old mansion. Unfortunately, little Morgana had twisted this motto to suit her pranks on him and justified rummaging through Arthur’s property with her misguided version of his father’s words.

He shuddered at his memories.

As if he could ever forget the young Morgana; too wild and adventurous and always dragging him along. He had even liked to entertain her by playing tea times with her dolls and her if it meant that he didn’t have to tag along with her stealing the berries from the secluded garden of their old neighbor with her vicious oversized dog. But from the wild child with the temper and spirit of a country girl, Morgana had turned into an admirable young woman. A lady even, though a lady who liked to snoop around.

Arthur held his hand out. “Give me the key.”

She curled her lips, displeased and whispered loud enough for him to hear it, “Party pooper.”

“Caring about my privacy, you mean.”

When she didn’t answer, Arthur chanced a glance her way and saw her squatting down to pick the fallen brushes and pencils up. “You know, you’re really good. I saw your portraits of Gwen, Leon, Gwaine and me. They’re perfectly lovely.” There were quite a few drawings of her, just marginally less than of Ygraine. But that was a given.

Her smile grew fond when she imagined Arthur, considerably younger and face rounder. Arthur, whose brows were knitted in concentration, tongue peeking out from the corner of his mouth as he leaned over a table meant for adults and imitating Morgana’s face with clumsy pencil strokes.

She put his drawing utensils with the point up and spun around to face him, eyes bright and red lips stretching over white teeth. “You know, now that I know, this means that you’ll never have to worry about what to get me for my birthday.”

Arthur reshuffled his pencils and brushes in the holder. Brushes in the back, pencils sorted from softest to hardest. “Don’t expect too much, you’re not my favourite subject right now nor do you give me inspiration.” He’d rather not reward her for breaking into his flat, well kind of, but he knew, in a few months’ time, he’d have one ready for her and probably another one as he fret over it for weeks and lost sleep in the process.

“Please,” Morgana sneered, “like I’m not the perfect muse. And speaking of birthdays, are you sure you want to skip celebrations this year as well?”

“Pretty sure.”

“Fine,” she sighed, “but give me a call when you change your mind. I’m pretty flexible.” Morgana collected her black leather bag from where it laid carelessly abandoned at the table’s leg. An unsealed manila envelope spilled out from her back, though Arthur could only catch a crossed out name before Morgana took her bag and zipped it up.

~~L. Du lac.~~

“Hypothetically speaking,” Morgana began and the name was instantly forgotten, “if I were to invite a ‘dancer’ to your party, would you be interested?”

Arthur almost lost his footing when he turned to her, exasperation clear in his face. “You’re not inviting a stripper to my birthday party.”

Once upon a time, he lived in fear and awe of Morgana but right now, it was only fear as she looked like a cat that had gotten the cream. “Well, I can’t get a stripper for a non-existent party. Unless you've changed your mind?”

He shook his head but the smug smile stayed on Morgana’s face. “Come on, stop holing yourself in like a hermit and live a little. Or are you afraid your lover might be jealous?”

“What lover?” Arthur’s brows knit together in confusion. Besides work and pub nights with Gwaine and Leon, he rarely interacted with other men. So why would Morgana assume he had a lover?

“Arthur,” she tutted and instantly assumed the voice of an elder sister, fond and proud. “I saw the unfinished sketch of your twink.”

“Twink?!” Arthur spluttered. But wait, was she referring to  _that_  drawing? The one with the jumbled features of different men? He completely forgot that he tucked it under the other pictures. Damn.

He groaned. “He’s not real, okay? I was just practicing anatomy.” That was only partially true but she didn’t have to know. He was pathetic enough already.

Without pressing him further, like Arthur expected her to what with her raised eyebrow and her disbelieving stare; Morgana turned to collect a big shopping bag made out of marine blue paper with her free hand. “If you say so. Anyway, just call me when you feel up to it, okay?” Her belongings in hand, she left the room.

Something was off. There was no way, Morgana who was the most ambitious person he knew besides his father, would give up just like that. Where was the cornering, the blackmailing with embarrassing pictures?

Her tinkling laugh echoed in his flat. “Saw the cake, eh?”

“Sod off!”

As her laugh grew louder, Arthur finally remembered why he was storming into his bedroom earlier.

“Morgana”, he yelled after her, “what the hell were you even doing here?”

But she was already out of the flat, door falling shut behind her. 

Can’t be helped then. With a sigh, Arthur plopped down onto the chair and looked at the box. He fished the drawing Morgana mentioned earlier featuring his supposed lover out of the box. Well, he might as well practice some anatomy for real this time.

Arthur began to draw.

 

*****

Arthur rubbed his eyes. How much time has passed? His hand still hovered over the sketch, with the pencil tip grazing the paper. The sketch was almost done, just a few shades here and there and then he could get to the face. But he doubted that he could ever finish it when he didn’t even know how the man should look. He blinked, Arthur didn’t remember colouring the picture and yet the man was painted in eerily realistic flesh tones. And what the hell? Did the man just  _move_  inside the drawing? Wow, okay, he seriously needed to get to sleep now. But just as Arthur stood up from his chair, an arm shot up and out of the drawing, grasping his wrist.

“What the—” he tried to rip his hand away from the arm but it only got that thing to rise further up from the paper until a fully fleshed out man rose out of the sketch and squatted over his desk. And well, the man was naked and Arthur’s body seemed to really like it, given the instant reaction he had between his legs. But the strange thing was that, try as he might, he couldn’t see the man’s face from his rather plump lips upwards. Arthur squinted his eyes; the man stood right in front of him but it looked like he was looking through glass and someone wiped his sweaty hand all over the clean glass until he couldn’t look through it anymore. The man remained faceless.

“Arthur.”

He gasped and ceased struggling all together. How was that possible? Arthur saw him mouthing his name, speaking to him, but no tone came out. Instead, the voice vibrated within his mind, calling out to him.

_ArthurArthurArthur._

With every time his name was called, Arthur felt himself more and more drawn to him; his body moved on its own, eagerly falling into the outstretched arms.

A hand crawled under his shirt, moving upwards and scratching, leaving only sweet pain. So strange, wherever the hand touched his body, his skin felt like it was on fire, electrified even. The faceless stranger pulled at his shirt and Arthur complied; he raised his arms as the man pulled the offending cloth over his head and threw it to the back of the room. Arthur couldn’t care less because finally, their naked bodies touched with no layer separating them.

He surged forward to push his lips against the stranger’s luscious ones and they were as velvety smooth as he imagined them to be. And just when he thought he reached heaven at last; teeth nipped at his bottom lip and a tongue pushed into his mouth. Yes, yes. Arthur didn’t care how very fucked up the situation was and even less that he was just about to sleep with an inhuman creature that he himself had created. Not when legs snaked around his waist, making Arthur gasp in surprise when their cocks slid together, the stranger’s naked one against his jean-clad one. And he couldn’t be rude and be the only one still dressed, right? So he fumbled with his belt buckle, easily sliding out of his jeans and briefs, only to move back between the v of the man’s leg; cocks touching. That was definitely much better. A moan escaped his lips and then another, needy and breathless when the man’s hips snapped up, creating a delicious friction. The man’s hand splayed over his flushed chest, scratching his pecs; pinching his nipple with his other hand.

Arthur had a theory; maybe just maybe this man knew exactly what he craved because Arthur himself has created him out of the jumbles of features that he adored. That would at least explain why he reacted so well to the touches, aroused to the max by the lightest touch; their bodies molding perfectly together. He felt a tug at his groin when the stranger fell down to his knees, only to bury his nose in Arthur’s crotch, peppering the taut skin there with kisses. His face still remained a mystery to Arthur but for now; it was okay because Arthur could bury his hands in the dark hair at the crown of the man’s head, pushing his dick towards his lips and smearing them with the precum gathered at the head. Arthur stepped forward, trapping him with his body and cornering him until the man’s head hit his desk. Apparently it wasn’t the only thing he hit because something tiny and shiny rolled over and fell to the ground next to his feet. Morgana’s lipstick.

“Pick it up,” he ordered.

His hands were beautiful, Arthur noticed, when he handed him the lipstick; and he had long fingers with neatly clipped nails. Well, of course his hands would be beautiful; he liked them this way. Right now, whatever was happening, Arthur got everything he wanted instantly. And didn’t that mean that whatever he would do to the man submitting to him, he’d comply? No time to ponder now, he would try it out.

Arthur grasped his chin, flicked the cap off and twisted the lipstick a little until he got enough of the stick out to work with. What was it they said in the fairy tale again?

_White as snow, red as blood and black as that wood of the window frame._

Two parts down and Arthur would gladly fill the third one. Red as blood. He brought the lipstick to the man’s lips, smearing them evenly over his plump lips; turning the peachy lips shiny red.

He leaned down and gave him a messy kiss, properly smearing the lipstick. Their lips slid easily against another thanks to the lipstick; and Arthur felt his dick thicken.

“Suck me”, he breathed against the red swollen lips; sliding his thumb in his mouth to give him a little taste to what would await him later on. An eager mouth sucked the digit, rolling his tongue against his thumb and biting lightly. But however much he liked to see him mouthing at his finger with his rather indecent stained lips, he’d rather see those lips stretched taut over his cock. Thankfully, he withdrew his mouth with a loud smack and at last turned his attention to Arthur’s straining cock. It seemed like he wasn’t the only one; the man’s dick twitched; cum already gathering at the crown.

Arthur was enraptured with those lips stretched wide around him; lipstick smeared all over the tip, mingling with the saliva and turning the red to a lighter shade. He hissed as the man swiped his tongue over the slit, sucking hardly when Arthur eased the grip in his hair. A litany of curses escaped his lips when the man got down and dirty as he licked a wet long stripe from the base to the root of his dick, only to take him deep in his mouth until Arthur felt his cock touching the roof of the man’s mouth. Fuck, he was being deep-throated. And if that wasn’t enough to make him feel light headed; he put the cherry on top by grabbing Arthur’s waist and pushing him forwards, deeper in his throat. Let it be known that Arthur Pendragon was a very generous man, Arthur thought as he snapped his hips forwards, watching with fervent eyes how the man pulled at his own cock; matching his rhythm to Arthur’s thrusting. It was too much and too fast and he pulled fully out of that mouth, only to push right back in. Didn’t the man have a gag reflex? He didn’t even choke when Arthur basically shoved his dick down his throat without warning. Arthur didn’t even realize how close he was; his orgasm almost a shock to himself.

_Arthur._

There was the voice again but it was hoarse now, desperate. He moaned when he heard the scream in his head as the orgasm hit him at last; the vibrations around his cock sending a jolt through Arthur. The lipstick was well and properly ruined, cum dribbling down his chin and falling in drops to the floor.

Arthur startled, looking down to blue eyes watching him with curiosity. It felt like a fog clearing, a haze lifting when he felt a name on the tip of his tongue. But before he could even fully grasp the name, he was tipped back with a little push and toppled over, foot catching on his chair’s leg. The fall didn’t come through, nor did the pain. Instead, he felt a light pressure against his cheek and opened his eyes though he’d thought they were already open. Arthur looked around and found himself sitting in front of his desk again, head resting on it. There was no man with him in his bedroom, just him. Though he found his right hand in a fist; grasping something warm and smooth. Opening it, he found Morgana’s lipstick in it, warmed and probably melted by now. Arthur flushed and quickly tossed it into the bin next to him. Was this why he had had this intense dream? The sketch was still lying on his table, unfinished and unmoving. Obviously.

It was true that it had been quite some time since he’d allowed himself to let go. But would that entail such a vivid dream?

Damn. Were his friends right?

Arthur pulled his mobile from out of his back pocket and quick dialed Morgana by sliding his thumb over the glaring number two; with his father being on top of his quick dial list. And wasn’t that just sad? Leon being his best friend trailed far behind and only made it right behind his sister.

Without letting her even utter the first syllable of a greeting, Arthur said the one thing that Morgana was probably waiting for years from him. He deeply regretted them already.

“Do whatever you think is right, Morgana.”

He hung up before he could hear her gleeful laughter over the line.

*****

“Hello, birthday boy.” Morgana pulled him through the mass of people in the club who shouted birthday greetings at him or were so pissed that they staged whispered a tad too loud for bystander’s ears and wondered why Arthur was Everybody’s darling today. More than usual that was. They were probably the guests of guests on Morgana’s invitation list. He let himself be dragged along by Morgana since he spent the last two hours greeting anyone he recognized even though he would much rather spend the night drinking shots with his mates at the bar. His actual mates and not some random blokes off the streets. Why did he agree to this again?

Right on cue, Morgana turned around and shot a saucy grin at Leon who walked beside Arthur who was easily persuaded by her to come along and manhandle Arthur if the situation warranted. Arthur glanced to his side and saw a faint blush on Leon’s cheeks, lips curved upwards and eyes looking shyly down. Leon was still a traitorous traitor but Arthur couldn’t fault him for being attracted to his sister. Arthur admitted that she looked beautiful in her striking silk red dress but her cleavage was a bit too much, he thought. He would also gratuitously ignore the glitter sticking on her hands and in Leon’s hair. Morgana flicked one perfect curl behind her ear and got back to thumbing on her mobile, smirk growing bigger with each new message she received that was signalled by each chirping sound coming from it. At least he talked her off that unsettling raven crowing ringtone that she began to use last month. It always reminded him off Morgana’s half-sister Morgause who still gave him the chills just by being in the same room. That dreaded ice queen. Now that he thought about it, Morgause and him looked much more like siblings than him and Morgana did despite being only actually related to the woman whose hand was fastened in an iron grip around his wrist. Arthur and Morgause were tanned and blonde while Morgana was all impeccable alabaster skin and pitch black hair, red lipstick as perfectly applied as the curls bouncing on her shoulders as they walked.

White as snow, red as blood and black as that wood of the window frame.

 Fucking hell. Why did he have to think of that again?

“Why so distressed, Arthur?” Morgana’s voice broke through his fog of thoughts; he could practically hear the smirk in her voice as she abruptly stopped before him and turned around, facing him. She puckered her lips in a mock-kiss and leaned forward. “Didn’t get a birthday kiss yet?”

He would deny it till his death bed that afterwards, he hid behind Leon and actually pressed a palm to shield his lips. Arthur would never ever live this down; she would make sure of this. Of that, he was certain as he heard her tinkling laughter.

“As if I would touch your maiden lips, baby brother.” He had kissed tons of people, both men and women and Morgana knew it since she had often enough made him play ‘Spin the Bottle’ with their group of friends when they were younger. Arthur also got his first kiss from a girl called Sophia. But Morgana seemed to absolutely loathe her for some reason; thought Sophia was up to no good. Not like he cared since he much preferred men.

“Did you change your lipstick, Morgana? This one seems richer in red.” Leon, ever so attentive but backstabbing, pried Arthur’s hands off his blue sweater and gave him a little push towards his sister. Stupid Leon.

Morgana shrugged and rummaged through her little purse which dangled from a thin gold chain across her shoulder. “Yeah, my usual one went missing. I must have lost it somewhere.”

Arthur flushed and tried not to think of the solid weight in his hand that the lipstick provided before he’d tossed it into the bin. Tried not to think of the dream where he fantasized about staining plump lips ruby red. He coughed. “So where are you dragging me off to?”

“We’re right in front of our destination if you haven’t noticed. I promise you’ll like your surprise. Just be glad I didn’t go with my initial choice of Lance.” And who the heck was Lance? She emerged with his scarf and a card from her purse which she promptly used to unlock the door they stood next to. “Leon!”

“On it.”

He had no time to crane his neck to see what they were up to before Leon held his wrist bound tightly together behind his back while Morgana used his scarf to tie it securely over his eyes and half his nose. “What the hell?!”

“No worries. Everything’s part of the show”, Morgana said and with a call made Leon hold him by his waist only to manhandle him. The fuck is wrong with them? Whatever they were up to; he hoped he was heavy enough that Leon would strain his shoulder, effectively keeping him from any strenuous exercises for a long time. No sex for them.

“You’ll love me for it!” She declared in a sing- sing voice and helped Leon to finally put him down on a chair or so from the feel of it.

One day he’ll cut her long and pretty hair in her sleep. One day. See if Leon would look above her boobs afterwards. But Leon would; stupid perfect Leon.

 Arthur grumbled.

*****

The room was warmer than the floor he’d been standing in before, but thankfully less stuffy with no throngs of people pressed to his sides. Arthur could feel his thin henley sticking to his chest, already soaked from the sweat which wasn’t as bad as the ridiculous scarf around his eyes. Morgana warned him not to take the scarf off before his surprise and he would have just taken it off out of spite if it weren’t for the fact that Morgana had a third eye for these things. At least he didn’t need to look her in the eyes; and he doubted he would be able to in the near future.

Suddenly, music was playing, heavy bass resonating in the room. He heard the lock of a door and then footsteps getting closer, approaching him. Did they come back? But no, the walk was too heavy to be Morgana and too light for Leon. A man perhaps? Arthur’s heart fluttered; out of fright at the unknown but mostly out of excitement. Now that was a first. First the lipstick and now this?

Cool fingers touched the sides of his face, in stark contrast with the heat radiating from the body standing right in front of him.  

“Morgana sure knows how to tie knots“, said the male voice brightly behind him; fingers fumbling with his scarf and brushing over the crown of his hair. It felt nice, soothing somehow. Arthur heard the humming next to his ear, the gust of warm air tickling the sensitive skin. After a few seconds of fumbling, the knot loosened, scarf falling from his face down to his lap. Arthur blinked a few times, trying to adjust his eyes to the sudden dim light.

The man’s cold fingertips grazed his neck and Arthur flinched, making the man laugh. “Sorry, bad circulation.”

At last, Arthur could attribute the pleasing deep voice to a body. Well almost. Half of his face was covered by a simple black mask, only showing full lips and highly set cheekbones. He was dressed in a black blazer and equally black slim cut trousers; and only his white button up shirt prevented it from being a completely dark attire even though his tie was also black.  

Arthur looked around and took his surroundings in. There was a blackboard situated a few metres away from him with an old wooden table in front of it. He looked at the masked man and then back at the sparse furniture in the room. This setting looked rather familiar. Only when the man tugged at his unruly shock of dark hair and then, noticing Arthur’s eyes on him, clasping his hands uncertainly behind his back did it make click.

Well hello, he’s living a school boy fantasy.

“And you are…?” Arthur’s voice trailed off.

“Oh, I’m Merlin.”

“Why, hello Merlin”, Arthur eyes twinkled and he leaned forward, chin resting on a hand, “I was actually meaning to ask what you’re doing here. What  _we’re_  doing here.”

Merlin blinked a few times, confused. But then, he looked up to the speakers on the ceiling and closed his eyes, soaking the music in. His stance turned confident and a lazy smile grazed his lips; the shyness that was there mere seconds ago left his body instantly.

He tilted his head, voice dropping a few octaves. “Arthur, right?”

Arthur nodded. While Merlin seemed to gain confidence by the minute, he lost his just as fast.

“Why don’t I show you?”

*****

“So we’re not going to roleplay?” Arthur eyes were glued to Merlin’s lithe form; hands sliding down his tiny body, unbuttoning the first few buttons of the shirt under the blazer in the process and revealing a toned chest. Not so tiny then. But really, Merlin was almost drowning in his blazer which looked as if it was two sizes too big for him. Arthur was sure he had seen that cloth somewhere before but everything was fuzzy in his mind now. No wonder, since Merlin had been snaking around him, had been for a while. Always in his space and always out of grasp when Arthur unconsciously leaned forwards.

Merlin gave him a lopsided smile. “Your sister hired me as a stripper, not as a playmate in bed.” And why couldn’t he say that without sliding between Arthur’s legs and running his hands down his chest? Unfair. It made Arthur’s mind all twisted, confusing him even more than figuring out why Merlin was wearing that stupid mask.

“You said that already. I just want to know why you guys set the room up to make it look like a sparsely furnished classroom?”  He had to rip his eyes away from where Merlin’s rolling hips were against his abdomen and swaying tantalizingly to the beat of the music. 

“Morgana wanted the room to go with my outfit. She really goes all out, doesn’t she?” And just for emphasis, he played with the lapels of the blazer and dare he believe it? Merlin shrugged out of the blazer and licked his lips, like a predator ready to ambush its prey; he threw his arms with the cloth around Arthur’s neck and jumped with one fluid motion into his lap. Arthur startled and out of reflex, gripped the next solid thing in his hand which conveniently was Merlin’s waist. Merlin crossed his legs over Arthur’s, embracing him tighter and pressing himself closer. “You really can’t let this little school boy fantasy go, eh?”

Arthur gulped but schooled his features.  “Can’t say I wasn’t disappointed.”

“Very well,” he ran his hands through Arthur’s hair, scratching the scalp lightly; and stood up, turning back to his routine. No move was out of beat as Merlin’s body seemed to readily embrace and catch the rhythm of the music as he jumped out of Arthur’s lap. “We’ll see if we can turn this fantasy of yours into reality if you behave.”

Arthur felt giddy, anticipation and excitement thrumming through his body even though it could very well be an empty promise. “You say this to all of your customers, don’t you?”

“Only to the foolish ones”, Merlin said impishly.

Cheeky bastard.

Merlin threw the blazer in his face; of course he would do that. He ripped the offending clothing from his face and was just about to toss it to the side when he noticed the tag.

_A. Pendragon_

No wonder the blazer looked familiar; it was  _his_  old school blazer. He wondered how Merlin got his hands on it until the puzzle pieces fell into place. Morgana was behind the party and its ‘little surprise’. She hadn’t been snooping around his bedroom like he’d accused her of; she wanted to secretly get his school uniform and then found his little box. Being one of the annoying siblings that would read their little  ~~sister’s~~  brother’s diary out loud and distribute a copy of it to all his friends, she’d naturally know the hiding spot of the key. Oh, and just for the record, Arthur Pendragon had never written a diary but he’d bet that Morgana would do just that.

He didn’t even notice that Merlin had already stripped down from his trousers, wearing only black briefs and his white shirt. Arthur licked his lips, mesmerized by all the bare skin. His legs were as skinny and pale as he expected, but what he didn’t expect was the clean shaven legs. He wondered if Merlin had also shaved elsewhere. His trousers tented at the thought, even more so when he saw that Merlin had noticed the obvious bulge. 

“Morgana told me you’re an artist,” he said, hands a bit too close to Arthur’s crotch to be an offhanded motion. ”How about you paint my face with something other than colours?”

“Oh my god. You didn’t just say that.” Arthur gulped, trousers uncomfortably tighter now.

Merlin turned his back to him, knees bent and was almost sitting in his lap again. With his hands placed in Arthur’s lap, supporting him; Merlin could easily twist and turn his upper body to his liking. He sure had a pert arse for such a skinny guy. And of course he would turn around to face him just when he was mapping out his backside.

“Eyes up, Arthur.” Arthur looked up to a Merlin whose cheeks were dusted pink, pupils blown and with a sweaty fringe plastered to his forehead. Alright, maybe the mask wasn’t stupid after all. It certainly had its appeal, what with the mask hugging Merlin’s features like a second skin, accentuating his sharp cheekbones and straight nose. And speaking about skin, Merlin’s shirt was pulled taut from leaning over, and Arthur reveled in the outline of Merlin’s waist. Arthur wondered, would Merlin’s warmth seep through the thin layer of cloth when he reached out? Would he feel the texture of his skin? He didn’t even notice that he reached his arm out until Merlin looped his wrist with his hand and gently pulled Arthur’s arm down.

“You know, we have this one rule.” Merlin began to draw circles with his thumb on Arthur’s wrist and Arthur just got a bit distracted.

His voice sounded rough even to his own ears. “Which rule?”

He took a step forward with his legs wide apart until he was fully seated in Arthur’s lap. “No paying customer is allowed to touch the goods.” Arthur let out a tiny gasp when Merlin wriggled and drew himself forward so as to not fall down.

“But, but you’re—”  _practically riding my dick_ , “—breaking the rules yourself!” He gritted his teeth when Merlin took this as his cue to thrust in earnest, hands splaying all over Arthur’s chest.

Merlin shrugged, a lazy smile grazing his lips. “I’m not the customer now, am I?” His hands trailed lower and lower until he reached the hem of Arthur’s henley and slipped his hand under it, tracing the outlines of his abs. He dipped his fingers inside Arthur’s briefs, grazing the taut skin over his hipbones. The pleased smile on Merlin’s lips turned into a smirk when he saw Arthur visibly struggling to get his hands far away from touching Merlin’s bare thighs. He was sure he’d break the chair tonight from the way he grabbed it like a lifeline.

“And what,” Arthur cleared his throat and tore his eyes away from Merlin’s inner thighs rubbing against the sides of his legs, “and what if anyone doesn’t abide to the rule?”

Merlin was somehow amused by his question, tugging playfully at Arthur’s collar. “You have to know that our boss really cares about our safety. So anyone who wants to work for him has to do a crash course in self-defense first.” He leaned in close, hot breath fanning over Arthur’s face. “We’ve been taught which crucial body parts hurt the most. Like here.” Merlin rubbed his left cheek against Arthur’s jaw, not caring that he’d probably get a stubble burn later. “Or here”, Merlin’s hand travelled over his chest, lingering a beat too long over Arthur’s fast beating heart, and pushed his shirt to the side to get his hand over Arthur’s flat stomach. Despite Merlin having short and clipped nails, he gasped at the slight burn when the nails scratched his taut skin. Interesting. Now that was definitely a thing he didn’t know about himself. “Oh, and let’s not forget this part.” Arthur moaned when Merlin rubbed his cock through his jeans. But it was nowhere enough, nowhere enough to provide him the much needed relief.

Well, fuck the rules.

Arthur grabbed Merlin by his waist, pulled him forward and in place. And as expected, Merlin was scandalized by his actions, though he didn’t pull away from him.

“You know, I’m not actually the one paying,” Arthur smiled brightly and even brighter when the surprised expression on Merlin’s face morphed into a half smile. Bless his brain for still working in such a situation.

“I can work with that.”

*****

The music outside became louder, the bass thumping.

“Up, up!” Merlin gasped, his arms clutching his neck. “Your time is up.”

Oh, so it wasn’t the music. Someone was knocking on the door earlier.

“I’ll buy your next session”, Arthur said, and brought his hand on his back pocket until he could feel his wallet there. “I have enough money on me that we can continue this for at least another two hours.”

He felt rather than saw Merlin shaking his head against his neck. “No.”

“Why?” He felt a lurch in his stomach.

“Have something planned”, Merlin mumbled, his warm breath ghosting over his skin.

Disappointment surged through him at hearing these words, and while Merlin loosened his grip, Arthur didn’t. He held on tighter and pressed his face against Merlin’s soft hair.

“Have  _what_  planned,” Arthur whispered sharply against his ear and smiled when he noticed Merlin shuddering in his grip.  _Another client?_  is what he wanted to ask but didn’t dare. Would he also disregard the ‘ _Look but don’t touch’_  rule with his other client? Would he also make these little panting noises against his ear? He shook the thought of Merlin kissing a faceless stranger away.

Merlin pressed their forehead together, sticky with sweat but Arthur couldn’t care less.

“I don’t make it a habit of sleeping with my clients in my ‘office hours’.” Merlin chuckled at his own little joke. “And you’re no exception, Arthur Pendragon.”

Arthur licked his lips, pleased when he noticed Merlin’s blatant stare, tracking the little motion with rapt interest.  _But, but, but_. He could practically hear the little ‘but’ in his voice.

_Please say it, please say it._

“But—” 

_God, yes!_

“Outside of my working hours, I, um, can make a little exception for you,” Merlin said sheepishly. He cast his eyes coyly downwards, cheeks tinted pink. His meek attitude was a stark contrast with his earlier confidence and not to say occupation; and Arthur had to laugh, unable to hold it back.

Merlin flinched and pushed himself away from Arthur, obviously hurt by Arthur’s reaction to his offer. Noticing his mistake, he grasped Merlin’s wrist and pulled him back.

“No,” he back pedaled when he saw Merlin’s drooping form in his lap, “I mean yes! I’m totally on board with this idea.”

Only now did he realize that the music had stopped; their breathing erratic and much too loud in the quiet room. Merlin’s lacy mask had come undone during his performance, one side falling over his ear. He reached out for it but Merlin leaned back, holding his hand in place.

“Later,” was all he said, intentions clear in his eyes.

*****

Merlin’s eyes drooped with sleep.

_“Look, Merlin!”” Will said excitedly, pointing at his chin. He puffed his chest out and Merlin thought he looked like a bloated pigeon. “There’s nothing there, Will.”  Merlin turned back to his comic and groaned when Will jumped on his back, making the bed squeak worryingly. “Stop reading, this is more important!” And then he actually made tiny jumps in his squatting position on Merlin’s back, positively suffocating him. Seriously, sometimes he wondered why he was friends with Will. Annoying, loud and loyal Will. He sighed and pushed himself up on his elbows; making Will tumble backwards against the wall. That was definitely better._

_”Merlin!” Will spluttered but soon got back to his goofy smile. Whooping, he rolled forwards and stopped inches from Merlin’s face, ripping his comic away from him and flinging it to the back of the room. Merlin rolled his eyes at his antics and pushed his feet against Will’s face. He hoped they smelled. Apparently his feet weren’t smelly enough, if his best friend’s bright smile and gleaming eyes were any indication._

_“I have a beard!”_

_Will’s chin was baby smooth. “You don’t.”_

_Will rubbed the tiny hairs on his chin; there were three of them. “Well, obviously not now. But in a few weeks; in a few weeks, I’ll have stubble.”_

_Merlin touched his own jaw, his fingers gliding over the smooth, blemish-free skin. Even the girls in their class gushed over his clear skin, and how envious they were of him. Yeah, well, clear skin didn’t get him any boys. Merlin hadn’t even had his first kiss yet. He was a ‘kiss virgin’ as Will liked to call him. That traitor was only smug about it because he got his from Vivian, albeit reluctantly, when the whole class played ‘7 minutes in heaven’ three weeks prior. While Will had left the room blissfully, Merlin thought that he had probably never heard such a high pitched scream when Vivian bolted out of the room and used up a whole package of hand swipes, wiping at her lips._

_“—grows below.”_

_“What?” Merlin belatedly realized that Will kept on blabbering on while he daydreamed. He really wished Ealdor had more to offer for guys like him than very straight guys or curious country bumpkins who only wanted to experiment with him._

_“I said that you only care about the hair that grows below”, Will actually waggled with his eyebrows and hooked his finger into Merlin’s waistband, and let it spring back, snapping loudly against his skin in the process. That wanker._

_“Don’t deny it, Merlin.” Will gave his butt a light slap._

_He wanted to kick Will in the face. Oh, but cutting the little hairs on his chin off would be so much better. “I never did. And stop groping me, Will!”_

_“So do you actually know how it works? I mean”, he made an obscene gesture with his right hand, “you know?”_

_God, this was getting embarrassing. He already felt his face heating. He was glad that Will was fine with his sexuality but talking with him about sex, gay sex, was something else. Will once even told him that he should have realized it sooner since Merlin 'fell out of the womb with gay fairy dust all over him’. Will’s words. A bit offensive, he thought._

_“No, not really. Can I read my comic now?”_

_Merlin’s plea fell on deaf ears. “Guys do it with their arse, right? How does it even fit?”_

_He groaned, dragging a palm over his face. This wasn’t happening now, was it? “For a straight guy, you’re gayer than me.”_

_Will clapped his hands together excitedly. “I know! We’ll do a bit research on your laptop!”_

_Fuck._

_“Come on, Merlin,” he dragged him from the bed to his mother’s bedroom. ”You don’t want to appear too much like a virgin when you do the deed, right?”_

_“But I_ **_am_ ** _a virgin. Besides, mum and I share the laptop. She’ll see what we searched!”_

_He wasn’t actually going to watch gay porn with his straight best friend, right?_

_“We’ll just delete the browser history afterward,” Will chirped, booting the laptop up._

_He totally is. Again,_ **** **_fuck_ ** _._

 

_The slaps of skin filled the room, only drowned out by the moans of the men on the screen. Merlin’s hands were clammy and sweat had already gathered over the bow of his lips and he really, really wished that this wasn’t happening right now._

_Unlike him, Will was pretty cool with this situation, like watching gay porn while not being of_ **_that_ ** _orientation was the most normal thing. He sat backward on the chair, engrossed with what was happening on the screen while Merlin sat on the floor with his knees drawn up._

_The blonde haired man engulfed the slighter one with his body and groaned when he gave a well-aimed thrust. He pulled out of the ‘bottom’ as Will had to explain to him, which earned him a displeased groan, only to push the dark haired man’s thighs with his knee apart._

_“You know, if you ever enter this industry you’d fall under the ‘twink’ category,” Will said, rocking the chair back and forward by its front legs._

_Merlin flushed. “Will!”_

_“Alright, maybe wait a few years and bulk up a bit. You don’t want to embarrass me with your chicken legs, right? ”_

_He let his head rest on his knee caps, mortified. “I’m going to ignore the last comment.”_

_And how the hell did he even know all these terms?_

_It seemed like he said that out loud as he heard Will’s gleeful voice over the moaning and thrusting. “Obviously, I can’t let Auntie Hunith shoulder all the responsibility for you. Being the older one and your responsible best friend, I scoured the whole internet and even pestered the school counselor, to give you”, Will’s grin became comical wide and he drew the moment out, “the gay talk!”_

_A beat._

_“As of now, I declare your best friend status invalid.”_

_Will looked positively scandalized. “No! Oh come on, Merlin. You didn’t even know boys use condoms when they fuck each other stupid.”_

_That might have been true but that didn’t mean he’d be any less uncomfortable with Will explaining the ‘bees and the flowers’ to him. Well, just bees in his case._

_“Oh! Just in time for the cum shot. Look up, Merls.”_

_The what? Merlin’s head snapped back up and what he saw left his mouth gaping wide open. The blonde hurled the other man on his back without pulling out and drew forward to lick at his flushed chest, sucking one pebbled nipple in his mouth. His leaking cock smeared cum over the blonde’s abdomen but the friction apparently wasn’t enough and he snaked his legs around his waist, rocking against him. There was a muffled voice in the background of the video and suddenly they drew apart, grinning. He pulled out of him with a moan and grasped the base of his cock just as the other one jerked himself off, cum dribbling over his fingers. Licking his lips, he gave his partner a nod, anticipation clear in his eyes._

_Already having disposed of the condom off screen, he gripped his cock and aimed it at the face of the dark haired man after stroking his cock to complete hardness._

_Merlin was never harder in his life._

_The cum landed in ribbons on his face, throat and even his chest. This was almost as hot as the part where the slighter one was being eaten out. His jeans felt tighter just at the thought of the lapping tongue on the, on the…_

_Merlin lunged forward and clamped the laptop shut; just as the two men looked like they were ready for round two. Merlin was not._

_“That’s, that’s enough, I think,” he wiped at his mouth with the back of his hand, hoping he hadn’t drooled. Merlin was still standing with his back to Will, not daring to turn around, especially not with a raging hard on. The whole afternoon had been embarrassing enough already, he didn’t have to add a boner to that._

_“But they just warmed up”, Will complained, about to stand up and starting the laptop again. But Merlin snatched the laptop away and hugged it close to his heart, doing anything to get Will’s eyes from seeing Merlin’s front or putting him in any more embarrassing situations._

_At last, Will sighed and plumped down on the chair. “Alright fine, your choice. But not bad for your first porn, don’t you think?” He turned around to see his best friend beginning to count on his fingers. “Rimming, hand jobs, fingering and facials.”_

_Merlin’s mum always said it’s better to have a few close friends who mean good but are clumsy with expressing and showing their goodwill that may or may not put him in bad positions than having many bad people, so called friends,  who would surround him with ill intentions and backstab him. Clearly, his mum never had a friend like Will or any friend who messed with his non-existent sex life._

_“Will?”_

_“Yes?”_

_“Any chance that we’ll never talk about this again?”_

_Will clutched his hands to his heart. “I’ll never forget the moment when I saw my first gay porn.”_

_Fuck you. Wait no, not in that sense._

_“Merlin?”_

_“What?”_

_“I’m the better gay between us two.”_

_He groaned._

 

Merlin blinked, confused for a moment. He was still waiting in front of the club that Morgana had booked him for his performance, waiting for Arthur. It couldn’t have been a coincidence that he dreamed about that mortifying afternoon back when he was 14, not after propositioning a near stranger like that. He also didn’t make it a habit of getting off with a client in the midst of a lap dance. Merlin really wondered what came over him to suddenly be so daring. Arthur was still in the club, saying goodbye to all his friends who came to  _his_  birthday party. Shit, he really ruined it, didn’t he? Arthur’s friends all came today; or more like yesterday given the time and were all hoping to get pissed with the birthday boy. And here he was, dragging Arthur away from them; and there was also a good chance that he would disappoint Arthur later by lying like a dead fish in bed, letting him do all the work. Merlin worried his lip and pulled his beanie further down over his ears, like he always did when he was nervous. His mum was glad that he didn’t develop a nervous habit like nail biting but one time his beanie tick got so bad that she hid all his beanies away from him. Merlin hated to admit it, but he never cried harder in his life when he found out.

Arthur was still inside; Merlin could still chicken out and run, right?  They didn’t exchange any contact information and it was unlikely that they would meet again, especially when Merlin was masked the whole time. There was also the fact that Arthur was the epitome of a social butterfly, incredible attractive as he was popular, upper class and very fit; whereas Merlin was gangly, shy, and awkward, only blooming when he performed. He walked with fast strides towards the stations; it would take 15 minutes to get there and he’d still be able to catch the train if he ran.

Merlin faltered.

No, he couldn’t do that. Merlin touched the grey cashmere scarf wound tight around his neck and buried his reddening nose inside it. Right before he left the room, still clad in nothing but his briefs and his unbuttoned shirt; Arthur held on to his hand and used the scarf to draw him back for a kiss.

Merlin buried his face deeper in Arthur’s scarf.

*****

Damn.

It took him close to 20 minutes to bid everyone farewell, including three shots of vodka thanks to Gwaine. The same man who also gave him the advice to never leave his date unattended long enough to have doubts. Stupid Gwaine.

Merlin was nowhere in sight and he didn’t even have time to button up his peacoat, sweat cooling rapidly under the chilly night. Arthur jogged further down the main street, hoping to catch a fleeting sight of Merlin. Had he already left? There were only three people on the street besides him; a petite woman in a red trenchcoat with dark brown wavy hair accompanied by a tall man with auburn hair who leaned a bit too close to her to simply be a casual friend. There was also another man with a beanie pulled far down, obscuring a good part of his face. He leaned against a lantern with his face buried in his scarf, a very familiar scarf. Arthur breathed a sigh of relief, glad he had the mind to give it to Merlin who was unwilling to take off the mask.

“Merlin”, he called, stopping only shortly before him.

He looked up with wide blue eyes, red nose peeking out of the grey scarf. Merlin, he noticed, had a few inches on him and decidedly not enough layers on to keep him warm in the chilly night, especially for someone that skinny. There was also no way; he could ever miss Merlin’s endearing ears, protruding out of the beanie like they wanted to get out. Arthur reached out to pull the beanie out of Merlin’s eyes, and ran his fingers through the messy fringe.

“Let’s get you somewhere warm.”

*****

“Anything you want to drink?” Arthur went straight to the open kitchen after taking off Merlin’s and his own coat, leaving Merlin to awkwardly stand in the entrance and gaping at his rather grand flat.

“No, I’m fine,” Merlin said, flustered and wandered into the living room while Arthur took a few generous mouthfuls straight out of a water bottle. Merlin may have been fine but Arthur felt like he spent hours in a desert, completely dehydrated. He glanced at Merlin who still hadn’t figured out what to do with himself.

“The couch.”

Merlin startled as if being ripped from a daydream. “What?”

He nodded toward his couch. “You know.” Merlin still looked clueless. “Sit?” 

“Oh, right.” But Merlin was still rooted to the spot, just looking very conflicted now. His hands changed position every five seconds going from hugging himself to touching his neck, only to fold them in front of himself and nervously kneading them together.

“Come on then,” Arthur said, putting his hands on Merlin’s back and gently stirred him forwards, “I’ll give you a little tour.” It was only now that he noticed how tense Merlin was when he instantly relaxed under his hands at his words. He also noticed how very warm Merlin was under his palms and how Merlin smelled faintly of detergent and cinnamon. His eyes traveled upward towards Merlin’s neck which had a very faint tan line that he only really saw because Arthur unconsciously bunched his shirt up under his fingers, exposing more skin. Arthur’s mouth watered with the urge to touch all that skin.

Merlin craned his neck, probably wondering why they suddenly stopped dead still. His eyes moved from Arthur’s face to the hands that caressed his neck with feather light touches. With those eyes trained on him, Arthur completely lost train of all coherent thoughts. Yeah, what was it that Arthur wanted to show Merlin?

And there it was again; Merlin biting his bottom lip like he’d done the whole night. For the sixteenth time, not like Arthur counted. Big blue eyes looked shyly up from under long dark lashes. “Um, let’s start the tour with the bedroom?”

And did he just think of Merlin as shy? Scratch that. That boy knew what he wanted. That worked for Arthur, who was more than eager to please Merlin. In every sense possible.

“Bedroom,” Arthur repeated. Well, he already said that he couldn’t think straight with Merlin in close proximity, right? “Bedroom sounds nice. Very nice.”

Eyes crinkling, Merlin threw him a cheeky grin over his shoulder. “Lead the way then.”

 

Arthur drew him closer, grasping his shoulders and nosing at the hollow of his collarbones. He pressed feather light kisses over them, only to hover over his heart. Merlin’s heart thumped like crazy, it felt like a frightened rabbit who’d belatedly noticed that it was caged.

He looked up and dropped his head on Merlin’s shoulder. “Are you afraid?”

Merlin’s cheeks were heated and he was breathless. “N-no, just a bit sensitive.”

“Good,” he turned his attention back to the soft, warm skin of Merlin, rubbing his nose against the smooth skin. It was pale, appearing almost white, especially next to the dark hair that curled behind his big ears. His ears turned an endearing shade of pink that grew darker the longer he touched him. Arthur poked his tongue out, licking the pale expanse and tasted the faint salty residue from sweat. “Didn’t your mum ever teach you to wash up properly?” Arthur teased.

“Oh god, please stop talking about my mum.”

Merlin groaned and dug his hand in Arthur’s hair, drawing him closer and back to appreciating his body. And Arthur gladly complied by opening the clasp of bottle with lube and pouring a generous amount over his fingers. He was just tracing the rim after nudging his knees apart, encouraged by Merlin’s moaning and him clutching tighter at his hair, Arthur was about to breach him when Merlin suddenly tensed up. Confused, he looked up, only to be confronted with Merlin’s pained expression.

“Are you alright? Was I too rash?” Arthur instantly slid out from between Merlin’s legs but Merlin shook his head and gripped at Arthur’s shoulders. “Don’t, don’t stop. I’m perfectly fine.” But Merlin’s body betrayed his words; his entire body shook. Arthur could feel it from the grip on his forearms before he noticed it. And that wasn’t the only thing he noticed.

Merlin’s cock was flaccid.

His brows furrowed. Just mere moments ago, Merlin’s cock was poking him in the side as he sucked on Merlin’s adam’s apple, intent on leaving a bruise there for all the world to see. Arthur didn’t even have the chance to put more than the tip of his finger in him. Would it really warrant such a negative reaction? Arthur thought he might have hurt him but wasn’t he really careful? His hands were still smeared with lube, as were Merlin’s thighs and his hole glistening with it.

An uncomfortable thought crossed his mind.

“Merlin, are you even gay?” Arthur withdrew himself from Merlin’s vicious grip on him, he’d probably have marks from that later but he really couldn’t spare that any thought right now. It would certainly explain why Merlin was so uncomfortable.

“What? Are you serious, Arthur?” Merlin was outraged and looked at him with mouth wide open, like he couldn’t even believe that such a thing could cross Arthur’s thoughts. “Did I seem straight to you when I got off with you back in the club?”

Arthur was confused. “But just now, you— ” His eyes widened when it dawned on him. “Wait, have you never done this before?”

With Merlin working in such a field, it should be a given that he’d be experienced. At least, that’s what he thought. But that was apparently not the case when he saw Merlin blushing to the tips of his ears at his question.

“You’re a virgin.” Arthur stated like it wasn’t already obvious from Merlin’s reaction. And not only was he slow, but inconsiderate as well. “But haven’t you ever played with yourself? Just now, I only used my fingers.”

“Of course I have. I’ve been watching loads of porn alone after Will showed me and talked my ears off—” Merlin’s cheeks were stained in red, part from his embarrassment and part from indignation.

“Will?” Arthur asked sharply, interrupting him. Maybe Merlin did have some experience like he initially thought.

As if he was reading his mind, Merlin elaborated. “My straight best friend who showed me my first porn.” He shook his head when Arthur’s brows knitted in confusion. “Forget it. I was just surprised. Don’t worry; I’ll get it up in no time.” Fingers curling around his cock, Merlin pulled roughly at it. He was desperate for a reaction, for it to fatten and prove to Arthur something he simply couldn’t fathom. But to no avail. “Come on, come on.”

“Merlin.”

“Just give me a minute.” He jerked harder, breathe already ragged from desperation. He hung his head in frustration.

Arthur put his hands over Merlin’s stilling them mid-motion and pulled Merlin into a half hug, pressing Merlin’s forehead against his shoulder. “Alright, that’s enough.”

“You probably think I’m really pathetic, don’t you? Just admit it.” His words were muffled from where his face was smushed against Arthur’s shoulders, breathing warm puffs against Arthur’s skin. 

Arthur sighed. “Pathetic? Hardly. I’m going to show you something truly pathetic.” He got up, leaving a confused Merlin on the bed and retrieved something from the very bottom of the box which he had fiercely protected from Morgana’s sight just the week before.

 

 

“You have another sister?” Merlin asked as he looked at a photo of a stern faced Uther Pendragon whose face was less lined, a pretty doll-faced girl with ebony hair, Morgana; and a cute girl in a princess dress with short hair that curled under her ears.

“No, that’s me.”

He grabbed the pillow from Merlin’s lap and hugged it close. “I peed in my pants and got my will to wear that dress. At least that’s the official story known to mankind thanks to Morgana.”

“But?”

“But actually, I wanted to have something from my mother with us in the picture. I know it’s stupid,” he let his chin sink into the pillow, not daring to look up yet. ”Father and everyone else always told me how much I look like her and the naïve me back then thought that if I wore something from her, it would be like she was still with us, with me.” Thinking back, Arthur really didn’t know what he was trying to achieve with that ridiculous action. He could have simply asked his father if he could hold a picture of Ygraine when they took the picture. But then again, it felt too impersonal. He always had the impression from the mother he’d never met, that she would be warm and smell like flowers when she’d hold him after a really bad nightmare. That she’d soothe him and hold his hand and brush the same flaxen hair like hers until he fell asleep. Having her dress enveloping him like the warm memories he wished he could have with her, felt like the only right thing to do.

“No, it’s not silly. I think you’re completely adorable, Arthur Pendragon,” Merlin smiled fondly at him and reached out to grab the pillow from him and shyly hooked his pinky finger around Arthur’s. “It’s just…”

“How I timed my peeing?” Arthur grinned impishly and grasped Merlin’s hand, covering them with his broader one. “Clever me drank gallons of water and apple juice and got it perfectly timed. You should have seen my father’s face.”

“Clever you could have secretly sloshed your trousers with water.”

“I was seven and believed in authenticity,” Arthur deadpanned. Yeah, he really wasn’t the brightest crayon in the box back then. It was no wonder Morgana always beat him at chess.

“And here I’m going to lose my virginity to an idiot. Great.” Merlin sighed and flopped on his back. A smile formed on his lips when he noticed the bed dipping next to him. Merlin yelped when Arthur threw his weight on him, effectively straddling him. Arthur’s hand snaked down to Merlin’s belt buckle.

“If you don’t stop being so cheeky, you’ll leave this room as a sexually frustrated virgin.”

“I’ll stay a virgin anyway with the pace we’re going at.”

Arthur grinned. “Time to change it then.”

*****

Arthur curled his fingers inside Merlin, eliciting moan after moan from Merlin who arched his back off from the mattress. He even pressed his arse back against Arthur’s fingers, urging him for more. The Merlin now hardly looked like the virgin he revealed himself to be minutes before. Merlin, who needed to wear mask while performing to completely forget that he was actually really, really shy and awkward. Well, a blowjob and a bit of rimming really did the job. It certainly crumbled any thought of reservation. He took hold of Merlin’s cock which curled upwards against his belly, precum already leaking. Arthur smeared it all over the head of Merlin’s cock, spreading it down and tracing the vein there. As Arthur found out, that was Merlin’s sensitive spot. His entire body shook as Arthur licked a long, wet stripe up, tracing the vein to the tip of his cock and swallowing him whole. And Arthur thought it was the most beautiful thing he witnessed.

“Don’t be such a tease,” Merlin groaned, “I need to come.”

“Patience, Merlin.“ Arthur withdrew his fingers, earning him a whine of displeasure. He reached over Merlin to get to the condoms on his bedside table. Merlin used the chance and moved his hands up Arthur’s side, placing a kiss over Arthur’s heart before he stroked his nipples with his thumbs. When that got him a positive reaction from him, Merlin changed tactic and strained his neck to lick a wet stripe over one of them, only to suck at his nipple, enveloping it in the wet warmth of his mouth.

“A fast learner, aren’t we?” He ripped the sachet with the condom open and pulled it over his cock, guiding himself down to Merlin’s entrance. “Ready?”

Merlin rolled his eyes and pushed against the tip of his cock. “You talk too much, you bloody tease. Just get on with it, Arthur!”

Arthur grinned and pushed in. “You know, your potty mouth could very well be the reason why you’re a virgin. Such a cockblock.” In retribution, Merlin clenched around his cock, making Arthur wince at the tightness.  “Ha, serves you right”, Merlin cried out in glee.

Moving became easier when Merlin relaxed and slowly adjusted to Arthur’s rhythm as he thrusted into him. Merlin’s mouth opened in a silent cry when Arthur completely pulled out with only the tip at Merlin’s entrance, only to push his cock completely inside him. The slap of their skin became too loud for him and Arthur needed to talk. He distracted himself with all the pretty pale skin before him, licking his lips in appreciation.

“I want to draw you,” he kissed against Merlin’s collarbones, mouthing the salty skin there. “Want to draw you when you come.” He thrusted deeper inside, making Merlin cry out and fasten his hands in Arthur’s hair again. Arthur thought hair pulling might possibly be a kink Merlin didn’t know he had. He seemed to do it a lot. Oh well, he resolved to discover so much more kinks and sensitive spots Merlin had. But that was for another time. Right now, his first and foremost thought was to give Merlin a glorious first time.

He wanted to draw Merlin when he came, wanted to draw him with ribbons of cum painting his torso. Arthur wanted to capture the Merlin who let completely loose after his first time, sleeping and completely unguarded. Arthur needed to see, capture every moment of it and sear them forever in his memories. Arthur jerked his hips, already close. He closed his hands over Merlin’s cock, which was slippery with the cum it was leaking. He gave Merlin’s cock a few rough pulls and watched as he let out a strangled noise before his orgasm hit him. Merlin stilled, his breathing harsh. And Arthur took that as his cue, to hitch Merlin’s thighs up, thrusting a few times into him before he slumped over Merlin, enveloping his body as he came. He rolled to the side, not keen on crushing Merlin with his body weight but turned his body towards him. Arthur propped his head on his hand. “How was it? Did it meet your expectations?”

Merlin took his time to answer, pursing his lips in thought but Arthur could see that he was happy and sated. And then he turned towards Arthur, a wide smile spreading over his face and lighting his eyes. “Round two?”

Arthur threw his head back in laughter.

“Only after you get some sleep first.”

*****

Merlin’s face was smushed into the pillow; his cheek would probably come away with creasing marks from sleeping on the side when he woke up. Arthur reached out and flattened the cowlicks at the back of Merlin’s head, rubbing the warm scalp in the process. He grasped a strand of Merlin’s thick hair between thumb and index finger, letting the lock uncurl and watching it bounce back into its previous place. A frown formed between Merlin’s brows and he made a displeased sound from being disturbed in in his sleep. Smiling, Arthur rolled away and managed to get out of bed without waking him up. The floor felt cool on his heated skin when he tiptoed to his working desk. When he turned his head to see if Merlin noticed the missing body heat next to him, Arthur chocked back a laugh. Merlin was spread out like a starfish on the bed, occupying his king’s size bed wholly by himself, and how he managed to breathe face down was beyond his comprehension.

He got his sketchbook and a soft pencil out of his treasure box and seated himself on the side of the bed that was free of Merlin’s limbs. Arthur nudged him to get him to roll back to his side but it only got the sleepyhead to kick out aimlessly at the disturbance. It was just his luck to be struck by Merlin’s knee. Great, instead of a love bite, he’d come away with a purpling bruise on his hip. He couldn’t help but be amused anyway.

With a sigh, Arthur took in Merlin’s sleeping form, the graceful curve of his spine that dipped at his lower back and the little mole at his hip. The long slender legs that were tangled in the bed sheet, pale arms that had a light tan midway on his forearms that probably reached down to his fingertips but were hidden under the big pillow that Merlin’s head was lying on. Arthur itched to draw the long dark eyelashes that swept those rosy cheeks. He wanted to draw Merlin’s straight nose, capture his pink bow lips, and so he did.

Arthur was a calm artist, liked how no one nosy looked over his shoulder, putting him under the pressure to not only draw pretty things but being graceful doing so, making unnecessary elaborate strokes without messing up one stroke. No, Arthur liked to be by himself and slowly join the dark lines into human’s features, hints of a smile and eyes that were shyly cast down and hid the owner’s eye colour. But Arthur liked colour, liked dusting Gwen’s portrait with a hint of pink, enjoyed reproducing Leon’s hair colour with the entire orange and brown colour palette for hours until he was satisfied, and sneakily putting a bit of brown in the hair of a sketched version of Gwaine.

With Merlin, Arthur couldn’t see a colour. Merlin was simply black and white, with a smile that showed two even rows of white teeth and floppy black hair that he hid under when he was embarrassed, which was pretty often. He had a hint of blue, calming and shining when he looked at him but the blue messed up with his impression of Merlin. Everything was colourful, but not Merlin. Merlin was easy to grasp, didn’t pressure him into recreating his colours. And Arthur liked it. When he was satisfied with his sketch, he skimmed through his older ones. There were drawings of Morgana with crimson red lips, fierce even in a simple picture, and then there was sweet and shy Gwen in a yellow summer dress, one of his father and a few unfinished sketches of his mother. He stopped when he reached the page that he often came back to, one he’ll probably never be able to finish. It contained a jumble of the features he saw and adored on strangers he saw in the street and in the pubs he frequented with his friends. Arthur compared it with his most recent sketch; and sure enough they were similar here and there despite one being the real deal and the other being a patched up form of different people; they were vastly different from the eyes of the artist who drew them. Merlin was skinnier, taller and boyish who still radiated innocence and warmth whereas his older drawing showed a more mature man with shorter and lighter hair, smaller ears obviously, and thinner lips. He stroked the paper of Merlin’s sketch absentmindedly but closed his sketchbook when he saw Merlin stirring out of the corner of his eye. Arthur slid it carefully under the bed for the time being and joined Merlin in the bed. But when Merlin opened his eyes, smile grazing his face; the sketch was already forgotten.

 

**Author's Note:**

> based on teprometo's prompt #7  
>  _ **Prompt ******_: The person paying for a performance or sex expects the person performing the service to be very sexually experienced only to learn that they're actually a virgin. So for example, Merlin is a stripper, and when Arthur gets him home, he expects him to take charge, but Merlin actually has no idea what he's doing because he's chosen not to have sex until now.  
> 


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